Dating in my late 40's, why is it so frustrating?

Dear Wendy:

I have been divorced for 2 years and am finding it really frustrating to get back into the dating world. Are there no decent, intelligent and honest men out there in New Zealand? I have a great job, keep myself fit, am intelligent and am considered attractive. I worked on myself and am pretty clear on what I looking for in my next partner. Am I just to late to get back into the dating world? Am I being too particular? I am not finding anyone who I would even consider for a second date!

Regards,

Still Passionate at 47!


Hi, Katherine:

Don't give up- you deserve the best! However keep in mind that you are likely going to have to be patient and put some effort into finding the right guy for a variety of reasons. This is really common question that I get asked frequently, so I will discuss it again with some new suggestions.

You have a lot of positive things going for you,and that is part of the challenge. You have been around long enough to be particular and you probably are not willing to settle. It also sounds like you know what you want.

And you should not have to settle for less than happiness, fun and love in a new relationship! But that means it may take a while and effort to find the right guy.

Here are a few helpful tips:

Utilise all your dating resources, including possibly using a qualified match maker/ Be willing to put the necessary effort and time into finding a great relationship- it is going to take time and energy so accept this. Working every weekend is not going to get you into a great loving partnership!

Don't waste time on a guy or relationship that is obviously not a good fit just to go out on a date or to be with someone. You can't fix him or change him, so give up on it, if you can't live with it!

Prioritise what you really "must have" and what you would "like" to have in your next relationship. We all have to be "flexible" to some degree as the perfect man or woman is not out there.

Do an comprehensive and objective evaluation of how other people might perceive you. Do you display a positive attitude? Do you come across as desperate or sour and bitter?

Have you updated your appearance, do you feel and look your very best?

Do you have other interests, friends and life passions? Can you carry on a lively conversation with new people- do you do first dates well?

There are some great guys with lots of offer out there- I know- many of them are our clients! Don't lose hope and never give up- you have lots to offer but it is going to take some effort to find the right guy!

Wendy

Heart Connections
www.heartconnections.co.nz