Why Set Up Dates Can Be A Disaster!

“You should ask my great friend Alison out, I know you have been looking for someone since you broke up with Kate. I think you two would be perfect for each other" says your good mate, John.


You have probably heard this line from your friends numerous times. Just because your friend knows the both of you really well and thinks you would be a great couple does not mean it will necessarily work out between you. Actually, the chances are pretty slim and remote. So, before you venture down that path consider a few things.

All things can end badly. And think about the consequences if they do.. you are both good friends of John. How comfortable is it going to feel to have to meet up with your now ex girlfriend at the pub and social events with your group of friends?

Not all relationship work out

Not all things are meant to last forever. At least in relationship terms, otherwise they wouldn’t often end. Even if you do marry the person you were set up with, there is still a chance that you may end up divorced. Then you will look bad and it could hurt your relationship with him for setting you up with her in the first place. Lots of relationships don't last long term, and your friend John is probably not an expert in matching people up anyway.

If it looks to good to be true, it is probably IS TOO GOOD to be true. Maybe on the surface she seems pretty attractive, but proceed with caution. There are plenty of other relationship deal breakers that you might not discover until you are pretty deep into the relationship- or maybe it just isn't the right fit for you, long term.

Friends will talk to each other.

The woman you start dating will ultimately reveal things to "John", they are also close friends. This could ultimately affect your friendship with your friend John because after discussing these personal things, your friend’s perception of you could ultimately change or she might share things that you did not want your friend to know about you or your relationship.

Less time with your friends, more time with your girl friend..

At first, everything will be great and you will all hang out and get along fantastic. However, once you start getting serious and your time spent with your friend decreases, jealousy for time may likely arise. This could develop into a tug of war for your time with you ending up spending less time with your mates. How is "John" going to feel- is he going be upset with you for spending more time with "Alison"?

There are plenty of single women out there; it doesn’t matter how old you are or how many of your friends are in serious relationships. Take your time to find the right partner. If you want to find available women and are seriously motivated to do so, you will find the right partner. Don't count on your friends to set you up, or at least think very carefully of the consequences before accepting a set up date and then things don't work out the way you might hope they would.

Wendy Somers
Matchmaker and Love Coach
www.heartconnections.co.nz
04 970 1433

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